- UGLY EMAILS
Sending ugly emails, text and Facebook messages. DON’T DO IT! I know you are mad and you are hurt but stay away from any ugly messages. I can’t emphasis this enough. And the more I say it the more clients do it. Sure your soon to be ex is all over Facebook, or maybe their mom is flaming you. your mad and you want to fire back. Stick to your guns –remember why you are here. Everything you say via text, email or on Facebook is permanent. Don’t give anyone a chance to embarrass you latter. And trust me it will show up later-right when you don’t want it to.
2. NOT STICKING TO YOUR PLAN
I like to emphasize that each divorce client set down their goals and reasons for their divorce before we get started. It gives them something to look back on later when emotions are starting to get the best of them. And emotions will get high. They always do. When you are arguing over the remote control to the upstairs TV. Remember is this part of my plan, where does this remote sit in the grand scheme of things.
3. SETTLING YOUR CASE – JUST TO SETTLE.
Too many times I will have a client settle just to get it over with. While this is tempting and believe me in some cases it is tempting for the attorney too, don’t do it. The orders that are put in place may last a life time. Too many times I have had clients come back with “buyers remorse”. Once they dust settles they realize they gave up too much.
4. QUITTING YOUR JOB AND MOVING OUT OF TOWN
Sometimes you just want to get away and in the middle of a divorce you may feel like the best thing to do is to get out of town. But it isn’t. Moving right now is the best way to sabotage your case, especially if there are children involved. Your income will be disrupted, you living arrangements deemed unstable and the court might even order you back.
5. FAILING TO PREPARE FINANCIALLY
Money is the root of all evil, its been said. I won’t attest to that because I have a lot of problems that would go away with a couple of million in my pocket but in the case of divorce money is usually a huge factor. Most couples don’t realize the advantage of having two salaries and sharing expenses. And if you are a stay at home mom or dad who doesn’t work, child support seldom gets you to that same lifestyle you are accustomed to. Divorce itself always seems to cost more than what the client planned for.
