You’ve been served
5 Things to Take Care of Now AND 6 Mistakes to Avoid.
You’ve been served with divorce papers now what? Maybe you didn’t see it coming maybe it’s been building for a while. No matter, it’s time to do something now because……
You’ve got a few things to do:
- Respond to the lawsuit
- Decide on where to get legal help
- Figure out how your finances are going to work
- Take care of the welfare of your children
- Take care of yourself
If you need to talk to me now CALL ME (832)428-8733 or send me a message in the contact form.
6 Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce
1) Missing the Response Date of the Lawsuit.
In Texas a response to the divorce petition is due the Monday after 20 days from the date you were served the divorce papers.
Be sure not to miss this deadline or a default could be granted against you. A default is when the case is decided without your imput.
In many cases you are going to want to respond ASAP. Most divorce filings have a request for temporary orders in them.
Temporary orders are orders that are put in place during the pendency of the case. Usual temporary orders included such things as who has custody of the children and who is going to pay for the attorney while your case is going on.
And temporary order may even freeze your bank accounts. So you are going to want to be a part of that discussion.
2) Losing Your Cool
Hell yeah!!!! You should be mad. But get a grip on those emotions. The last thing you want to do is to give your spouse any ammo to fire at you.
I know you want to but right now is a bad time to reach out to your spouse. Cool off first. Many times anger boils over at this point. Domestic Violence is never a good thing and any hint of domestic violence is sure to sink you case.
And I know you want reach for that bottle. But stay away from drugs or alcohol. Any custody proceedings could and probably will include drug and alchohol testing and a positive test will be used against you.
If there are built up anger issues or if you have drug or alcohol problems it’s not a bad time to seek professional help.
3) Not Getting Legal Help Early
I know you think I am a lawyer and I have to say that but honestly I have seen a lot of divorces go wrong because either both the spouses or even just one of the spouses did not have legal representation.
If you want to go it alone. Texas has a form to use. Send me a message below and I can direct you to the right place for the forms. But please at least have an attorney review your documentation before you are through.
4) Not Getting a Grip on Your Finances.
This is probably going to cost surprisingly more than you thought. Now is the time to start thinking about how your finances are going to work.
If you have an attorney it will probably cost you at least $2500 and that’s if its not complicated and everything is agreed to. If it’s a contested divorce and you cant decide on anything than you are looking $5,000 and up.
And don’t forget that sometime in the near future you are going to be on your own, No more splitting costs. There are going to be two separate households.
Maybe you are paying support or maybe you are receiving it, either way your finances are going to be completely different than what you are used to.
5) Using kids as bargaining tools.
Don’t, Don’t, Don’t!
The court, the judges they see right through that. If I am your attorney I might even fire you as a client. Sure you’ve got issues with your spouse but try to keep the kids out of it. Just by the nature of divorce, kids are dragged way too far into it as it is so try to keep them out of it as much as possible.
6) Bashing your spouse on Facebook (or her friends or family)
Some would suggest you stay off of social media completely and that is good advice but social media has become such a part of our lives its hard if not impossible to quit cold turkey. And yes, I know you want to see what your spouse is up to but do you really want to?
And for goodness sake. Don’t start going off on some curse ridden tirade about your ex. If you want to blow some steam call me up and we’ll talk bad about them. (Because of attorney client privilege- I can’t say a word to anyone). But don’t let then have it on social media. Trust me it will be used against you!!!!!
My firm is here to help. If you have questions call me at (832) 428-8733.
- UGLY EMAILS
Sending ugly emails, text and Facebook messages. DON’T DO IT! I know you are mad and you are hurt but stay away from any ugly messages. I can’t emphasis this enough. And the more I say it the more clients do it. Sure your soon to be ex is all over Facebook, or maybe their mom is flaming you. your mad and you want to fire back. Stick to your guns –remember why you are here. Everything you say via text, email or on Facebook is permanent. Don’t give anyone a chance to embarrass you latter. And trust me it will show up later-right when you don’t want it to.
2. NOT STICKING TO YOUR PLAN
I like to emphasize that each divorce client set down their goals and reasons for their divorce before we get started. It gives them something to look back on later when emotions are starting to get the best of them. And emotions will get high. They always do. When you are arguing over the remote control to the upstairs TV. Remember is this part of my plan, where does this remote sit in the grand scheme of things.
3. SETTLING YOUR CASE – JUST TO SETTLE.
Too many times I will have a client settle just to get it over with. While this is tempting and believe me in some cases it is tempting for the attorney too, don’t do it. The orders that are put in place may last a life time. Too many times I have had clients come back with “buyers remorse”. Once they dust settles they realize they gave up too much.
4. QUITTING YOUR JOB AND MOVING OUT OF TOWN
Sometimes you just want to get away and in the middle of a divorce you may feel like the best thing to do is to get out of town. But it isn’t. Moving right now is the best way to sabotage your case, especially if there are children involved. Your income will be disrupted, you living arrangements deemed unstable and the court might even order you back.
5. FAILING TO PREPARE FINANCIALLY
Money is the root of all evil, its been said. I won’t attest to that because I have a lot of problems that would go away with a couple of million in my pocket but in the case of divorce money is usually a huge factor. Most couples don’t realize the advantage of having two salaries and sharing expenses. And if you are a stay at home mom or dad who doesn’t work, child support seldom gets you to that same lifestyle you are accustomed to. Divorce itself always seems to cost more than what the client planned for.
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